Think Before You Speak

Do you ever wonder why people don’t think before they speak? As a parent, thinking before you speak is something we try to instill in our kids from day one. I’m not sure why some people lose this ability when they reach adulthood.

I don’t know how many times when I was pregnant with the twins, people would say to me, “Wow, twins! Glad it’s not me!” Really?? Is that necessary to say? Especially to a pregnant woman carrying those twins. My husband and I were thrilled that we were having twins. Didn’t for one moment wish we weren’t. We felt so blessed and still to this day feel incredibly lucky to not only have our twins but all four of our kids.

I guess having four kids now a days is considered having a big family. I don’t get it really but maybe that’s because it’s our family and to us, this is normal. We actually feel like 4 kids isn’t a big deal. And the best part, our kids will have each other long after we’re gone, God willing.

It’s interesting to look at other things people say…when you first get married you hear, “When are you going to start a family…when are you going to have a baby, etc?” Then when you start having kids you hear, “Are you done now?” That drives me nuts! First, I don’t see how it’s anyone’s business but secondly, it’s just plain rude!

Here’s what started my chain of thoughts today:

Last night I ran to Walmart for a few things. My oldest stayed in the van so I just had 3 with me in the store. The twins were in the cart and Abbie was walking next to me. They were all well behaved, calm, quiet, etc. Which is normally how they behave in public.

I happened to see someone that I went to high school with. I smiled and said hello but was not planning on stopping to talk. As we were walking by, she looked at my kids and said, “Ugh, I’m glad I just have 2 kids.” Really?! As I was telling my husband this story when we got home, he was surprised I didn’t have more to say to her. But no, I just kept walking.

After we passed her, Caleb says, “Why did she say that she was happy to just have 2 kids?”

I said, “I don’t know hunny but I am happy that I have 4!”

His reply was priceless…he said, “And I’m glad that she’s not my mom!”

Amen to that!!

I don’t understand what goes through people’s minds before they say something like that. What on earth! It was just plain rude. I don’t know what is going on in her personal life or with her children but don’t assume that just because you don’t enjoy your kids, that other people feel the same way. I love my kids and feel empty when I’m not around them. Do they sometimes drive me a little crazy?? Yes. ;) But that doesn’t mean that I wished I didn’t have them or would want it any different.

Before Faith got so sick, we used to do foster care. Which would mean that I would have up to 6 kids at a time. That didn’t stop me from taking them all out to the grocery store or out in public. They were all well behaved. Boy, would I get the stares and at least one person would come up to me and have something to say. Usually something along the lines of, “Are they all yours?” Ugh! First it’s none of your business if they were but what gives you the right to ask?

I didn’t and don’t always get negative comments. Some people would come up to me and say, “Oh what well behaved children. God Bless you.” Thank you for understanding that children are a blessing!

Moral of this story…please think before you speak!

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  1. Teresa Moore says:

    I have one daughter who I consider a miracle after almost 10 years of marriage. Plus the fact, I was just a few months shy of being 40 when she was born. I get alot of the questions, ‘why did you not have anymore children” or the worse one “sorry you only had one child?”. I am not sorry. I am truly blessed by God to have the daughter I have been given. I would love to have had more, but one child is all I was able to have. So many women would love to have just one child and people just do not think before they speak. Bless you with your four children. All children are a blessing from God!

  2. Desiree says:

    I have one child of my own, she was “unplanned” and I had her just after graduating from high school. For nine years it was just the two of us…then I met my husband, a recently divorced father of three. Five years later we have custody of all our children and although we chose not to have any of our own (together) neither of us can imagine our lives without the four of these guys. I’m the oldest of eight and my husband is the second-to-youngest of seven. We love large families! And we feel blessed to have one of our own :)

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    Love your comments! Thank you for sharing! :)

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